Frequently I compare weight loss to down-hill skiing, a difficult skill set but not nearly as challenging as cross-country skiing, which is maintenance. On a cross-country trek, you have obstacles and struggles, and it’s lonely. I think it’s helpful to acknowledge this difficulty, and talk about the boulders under the snow that disturb your otherwise peaceful trip. Today I’m going to talk about the hidden boulder that I hate most: binge impulses. I started to talk about them here. Let’s go a little deeper.
First of all, I cannot speak to the experiences of people who struggle with a legitimate binge eating disorder. I don’t think I qualify. My experience, from what I can tell, is unusual, and may be one of the blessings that has permitted me to maintain radical weight loss when other people who are as clever as I am have not. I am different from many people, because while I do binge, at about 600 calories I reach a point where I suddenly can pause and even stop myself. I don’t know whether this is a gift or whether it’s normal. I haven’t seen any studies on binge stopping points. But in any event, I know I can pause and stop, and so I call them “mini binges.” I don’t think everyone else is this lucky, and I’d like to hear others’ stories.
Prior to a mini binge, I’m generally foggy-headed and having trouble focusing. Little problems and annoyances may build up. I’m not hungry, per se, but I find myself repeatedly in the kitchen, my hand on the refrigerator door. And repeatedly I back away. Cultural mythology would suggest Read the rest of this entry »